“I wondered about love and wondered if I would find in myself the strength to give love, and to take it: to accept my nakedness as sacred, and to hold sacred the nakedness of another. For without love, pleasure’s inventions are soon exhausted.” --- James Baldwin (Just Above My Head)
For the past three years, since I lost whom I thought was the absolute love of my life, I had been unable to listen to love songs. Songs of found love, lost love, new love, old love, it didn’t matter, I couldn’t bare the sound.
Then suddenly today, I found myself listening to Musiq Soulchild’s “Love”, a song I had banished and refused to hear, a song that could bring me to tears, make me pull over to the side of the road, if I was driving, and drown in my tears. But today, I listened, I sang and it felt good.
What the..? I thought and then it hit me.
Recently, very recently, I spent an evening with a wonderful friend. We laughed, we talked, we debated. He made me smile, he made me feel sexy and smart and coy and bold and all of those things I used to feel before…
Whoa, whoa, pop your eyes back in your head, this is not about love, not by a long shot…Well maybe it is about self-love or confidence or attitude or autonomy.
Well, what ever it is I am grateful for its return. My old friend helped me to find a part of me I thought I would never have the desire to recover. And now, once again, I have … desire.
For the past three years, since I lost whom I thought was the absolute love of my life, I had been unable to listen to love songs. Songs of found love, lost love, new love, old love, it didn’t matter, I couldn’t bare the sound.
Then suddenly today, I found myself listening to Musiq Soulchild’s “Love”, a song I had banished and refused to hear, a song that could bring me to tears, make me pull over to the side of the road, if I was driving, and drown in my tears. But today, I listened, I sang and it felt good.
What the..? I thought and then it hit me.
Recently, very recently, I spent an evening with a wonderful friend. We laughed, we talked, we debated. He made me smile, he made me feel sexy and smart and coy and bold and all of those things I used to feel before…
Whoa, whoa, pop your eyes back in your head, this is not about love, not by a long shot…Well maybe it is about self-love or confidence or attitude or autonomy.
Well, what ever it is I am grateful for its return. My old friend helped me to find a part of me I thought I would never have the desire to recover. And now, once again, I have … desire.
1 comment:
Well. things that happened to me made me not want to listen to them as well...but Love Songs are my life...its all that I like any music about anything else just isnt for me..I dont care about the Genre or what else..That the reason I appreciate NEo-Soul sooo much
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